


Hold On I Still Need You

by Skylar102



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alliance Rune, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Episode: s03e21 Alliance, He Gets Better Though!, Hurt Alec Lightwood, Hurt/Comfort, Immortal Alec Lightwood, Immortal Husbands, M/M, Magic, Temporary Character Death, edom, heavenly fire
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-20
Updated: 2020-04-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:34:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22821850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skylar102/pseuds/Skylar102
Summary: Lilith descends on them in EdomAlec does the only thing he can think of to save them all
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 34
Kudos: 385





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is 100% based on the fact of I wanted to make things even more angsty for Malec in Edom and I thought to myself "what if Alec was hit with the Heavenly Fire instead of Izzy" and lo and behold this fic appeared. I was originally going to write earlier scenes with heavenly fire Alec but it just didn't flow well. 
> 
> So just imagine how much more angsty the proposal scene would have been if they couldn't touch each other :)
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> Title from Hold On by Chord Overstreet

“Alec stop!” they all scream rushing forward to stop Alec but they’re too late. Heavenly fire shoots out of his hands towards Lilith’s demon form in the sky. The golden fire consumes her and a deafening screech can be heard as her body explodes, effectively destroying the Mother of all Demons. The fire on his arms extinguishes, just as all energy in his body seems to disappear and he collapses to the ground.

“NO!” Magnus rushes forward to catch his falling fiancé only for Lorenzo to grab a hold of him before he can get close.

“Let me go! Let me go!” Magnus wrestles to get out of the hold around his waist. Alec is on the ground spasming in pain and he needs to get to him. “Alexander!”

“Magnus you can’t touch him.” Lorenzo struggles against Magnus’ movements. “He’ll kill you if you touch him.”

“I don’t care! He needs me,” he cries out. He doesn’t even notice the tears rushing down his face. He doesn’t notice Simon gathering Izzy in his arms as she watches her brother on the floor writhing in pain. He doesn’t notice the others huddling together to try to find a solution to help Alec. All he can think about is getting to Alexander. 

“I just got him back! I’m not going to lose him again!”

“And Alec wouldn’t appreciate you getting yourself killed by him either! You have to think about this Magnus. I know it hurts but you can’t touch him,” Lorenzo grunts out. Struggling for a few more seconds, he gets out of Lorenzo’s hold and goes to Alec’s side careful not to touch him.

“Alec! Alec I’m here,” Magnus rushes out as he kneels next to Alec trying to get his lover’s eyes to focus on him. “I’m right here.”

“Magnus,” Alec grits out. His eyes open and lock on Magnus’. “Hurts.”

“I know, I know,” he soothes. “It’s going to be okay. You’re going to be okay. Just focus on me alright?” He leans over Alec, placing a hand on each side of Alec’s head on the ground.

“Magnus, I love you,” Alec stutters out, tears falling down his face. “I love you so much.” 

“Shh, shh it’s okay. I love you too. It’s going to be okay. We’re going to fix you,” he reassures. “You’ll be right as rain in no time and then we’re going to get out of here and we’re going to get married. A wedding can’t happen if only one of the grooms shows up.”

Alec chokes out a laugh, his smile is wobbly but it’s there. Magnus can’t help but smile back. The small moment reminds him of an alleyway not too long ago and he shakes out the memory before it can manifest. 

“Please tell me someone has something that can help?” he begs glancing up at the others for guidance. Anything to help Alec, who groans out in pain on the floor.

“We could use the alliance rune,” Clary spoke. “It may help alleviate the effects of the heavenly fire but we don’t know how it will effect-”

“Use me,” Magnus interrupts, standing to his full height. He strides towards Clary without hesitation.

“Magnus…” Clary softly speaks. “We don’t know what will happen if we connect you to Alec with the heavenly fire in his body.”

“I don’t care, use me. I’m the only one who isn’t bonded with someone so it has to be me anyway.” Magnus holds out his hand.

“Magnus no,” Alec stammers between breaths. “You can’t- ahh!”

“Alec!” Izzy and Jace cry as they watch their brother get consumed by golden flames. 

“Biscuit please, he doesn’t have enough time,” Magnus pleads. Clary still seems to pause at putting the rune on him. She looks lost in thought but Magnus doesn’t have time for that.  _ Alec _ doesn’t have time for that. “Clary!”

“Everybody get in a circle,” she states as she moves forward to crouch down next to Alec.

“Clary what are you doing?” Jace questions as Clary draws the alliance rune on Alec’s hand.

“Just get in a circle!” she repeats, standing up. “Grab each others’ hands. All of us are going to take on some of the heavenly fire.”

“Won’t that kill us Downworlders?” Meliorn inquired but still goes to stand in the circle grabbing Simon and Lorenzo’s hands. 

“If we got some of your demonic traits from the rune to allow us to come to Edom then it makes sense that you guys also got some of our angelic essence.” she states. “Magnus, let me see your hand.”

Magnus holds out his hand for Clary to draw the rune. It stings a bit as thick black lines begin to appear on his skin.  _ Is this what the Nephilim feel every time they activate a rune,  _ he wonders. As she finishes up the rune’s pattern, a power like no other surges through him humming underneath his skin. 

Izzy and Jace go to pick up their brother careful not to touch his hands, grab him by the arms and lift him to stand.

“No,” he breathes out, trying to resist but too weak to put up a fight. “It’s too dangerous.”

“We’re not going to let you die Alec,” Jace states steadying Alec on his feet. “I’d a pretty bad parabatai if I let my other half die because he was too stubborn to let me help him.”

“You can’t get out of this wedding, hermano,” Izzy adds in jest. “I did all the work on your last one, you’re not getting out of planning this one that easily.”

“As if he could stop you from butting in anyway,” Jace jokes.

“Everybody ready?” Clary looks around at everyone, receiving nods. “Okay Jace, Izzy, grab Alec’s hands and complete the circle.”

As their hands connect, heavenly fire spreads out from Alec’s hands and begins to consume them one by one. The energy coursing through their body is so immense, that they struggle to stay on their feet. Not even their journey to Edom was this painful.

Then like a firework, heavenly fire shoots into the sky and spreads across the horizon. Any demon that was still circling close disintegrates in a matter of seconds. It’s golden hue spreads across the skyline, igniting the realm in a bright light. In a flash it’s gone, Alec is no longer consumed by the angelic power. The gang let out a sigh of relief only for it to be short lived when Alec suddenly collapses to the ground. His body still against the red floor.

Magnus surges forward falling to his knees next to Alec. He gathers his fiancé in his arms, finally able to touch him. “Alec? Alexander open your eyes,” Magnus begs as he shakes him gently trying to jostle him awake. Alec’s head lists to the side with the movements. 

Around him, Simon pulls Izzy into an embrace as she begins to silently cry. Jace is standing still numb to everything, his eyes only on his brother. His hand grips the part of his shirt where his parabatai rune rests. He doesn’t feel anything through the bond. Clary grips his other hand as tears silently fall from her face. Meliorn and Lorenzo look away, unable to take the pleading words coming from Magnus.

“Please, please wake up Alexander. We did not risk our lives just for you to-to tap out.” 

Nothing. 

Magnus begins to push his magic into his fiancé.  _ Something  _ has to give. He is a Prince of Hell in the realm of his father, his domain. His powers should be enough. Magnus tilts his head down and presses his lips against Alec’s forehead.

“Please,” he whispers, giving a light kiss to Alec’s forehead. “I love you so much Alexander. More than anyone in all my centuries on earth. You are it for me.” He searches Alec’s face for any signs of movement.

“We still have to get married,” he chokes out. Pulling back, he reaches down and grabs Alec's hand. The Alliance rune is a sharp outline against their hands. He brings it up giving the back of the hand a light kiss. Begging for the rune to take all of his strength, his magic, his soul, anything to get Alexander to wake up.

A gasp in front of him makes him look up. Magnus glances at Jace who has fallen to his knees clutching his shirt. Clary goes down with him trying to support him. Panic spreads through Magnus at what that means. He was there when Alec felt Jace die, he knows what a bond breaking looks like.

“No,” he whispers as dread fills his stomach. Out of options, Magnus looks towards the red skies of Edom crackling with the aftermath of the heavenly fire. He doesn't even know if his prayer will reach the angels from hell but he begs, pleads with them to save Alec.

“Magnus,” Jace grunts, hand still gripping his parabatai rune. “Something’s not right.”

Magnus looks over to Jace who’s lifting up his shirt to look at his parabatai rune. It was glowing bright gold. Out of the corner of his eye he sees a similar glow under Alec’s shirt. He releases the hand he’s been clutching and lifts the shirt to see the same glow on Alec’s parabatai rune. Only Alec’s seem to be tinged with the faintest blue. 

With a wave of his hand he summons what’s left of his magic and prods the rune. The moment his magic touches it, a shock goes through his body. Feeling Alec jolt in his arms meant that he felt it too. Suddenly the golden rune turns a bright blue and spreads to Alec’s other runes. One by one they begin to glow, lighting up Alec’s body in a blue hue. The light becomes so bright that Magnus has to shut his eyes to not be blinded. Just as the blue encompassed Alec’s body, it seems to fade away seconds later.

Magnus opens his eyes and looks down at Alec, looking for any sign that he would wake. He grips Alec's hand once again, waiting for anything to happen. He hears Jace let out a sigh of relief in front of him, but he doesn’t look up. 

“Come on, darling,” he murmurs, eyes searching Alec’s face. “You don’t put on a light show like that to not wake up.”

As if hearing his plea, Alec’s body shudders and he takes a deep gasp and begins to cough. Magnus sobs out a laugh and tilts Alec’s body up to help him clear his lungs.

“Easy darling,” he rubs his fiancé’s back in soothing gestures, “Take deep breaths, you’re okay. Thank the angel, you’re okay.”

Tears he didn’t know he had left begin to fall down his face once more as Alec looks up at him.

“Magnus,” Alec croaks out. Magnus can’t hold back his cry of joy and wraps Alec in a tight embrace, with an arm around his waist and his hand cradling the back of Alec’s head. He cries into his shoulder, his forehead pressed up against Alec’s neck feeling the fast pulse underneath.

Alec has no idea what happened in what felt like seconds he was out. He had felt drained, floating through a fog he couldn’t see an end to. All he remembers is a voice calling out to him. A voice he recognized and began to walk towards it like it was calling him home. 

Nonetheless, he returns the tight embrace and holds Magnus close to him. He glances up and sees that his siblings and friends are all staring at him, smiles on their faces with a look of relief in their eyes. He looks at Jace who he sees is kneeling on the ground clutching his parabatai rune, but looking at Alec like he’s the sun.    
  
“What happened?” Alec questions. The arms around him somehow tighten their embrace more, but Magnus makes no sign that he is going to move. He looks to everyone for an explanation, but no one has the answer.   
  
“It seems Mr. Lightwood,” Lorenzo speaks up. Alec looks over to the other warlock. Were those tears of relief in his eyes? “That the heavenly fire took more out of you than we had expected. Though it seems that all is well, except for whatever happened to your runes.”

“What do you mean? What happened to my runes?”

“They glowed bright blue,” Izzy pipes up from where she’s still being held by Simon. Mascara runs down her face, but it’s shadowed by the huge smile on her face. “It was like how Jace can activate all his runes without a stele but yours glowed blue.”

“It seems that when Magnus reached out with his magic to touch your parabatai rune, it changed the properties of it?” Meliorn suggests.    
  
“How is that possible?” 

“It doesn’t matter,” Magnus finally speaks up and pulls his face from out of the crook of Alec’s neck. The make up on his face is smudged and Alec feels slightly guilty for being the reason for his tears. Magnus releases his iron grip on Alec’s back and his hands go to cradle his face. “All that matters right now is that you are alive.”

“I thought,” Magnus chokes on the words, “I thought I had lost you.”

Alec raises his hand to wipe at the tears on Magnus’ face. Magnus leans into the hand he rests there. “I’m sorry for making you worry,” he apologizes. Magnus grabs the wrist of the hand holding his face and gives it a reassuring squeeze.

“You have nothing to apologize for Alexander. It’s not like you asked to be contaminated with the angelic powers of heavenly fire. Just don’t scare me like that again.”

“I promise,” he says. They begin to lean in for a kiss when suddenly the ground begins to shake. Jumping back from their embrace they see that the castle they’re in is starting to fall apart. Everyone looks up to see that the sky is glowing more yellow than it had before. A streak of lightning comes down and strikes the east tower obliterating it. 

“What’s going on?” Simon exclaims over the roar of the stormy sky.

“It looks like Edom is falling apart from the blast of heavenly fire we shot into the sky.” Magnus states as he stands up, pulling Alec with him. Alec stands on shaky legs and Magnus puts an arm out to steady him. “We need to leave now.” With the help of Lorenzo, they open a portal back to Earth.

“Everyone through now!” he shouts over the noise of the crumbling realm. 

Everyone rushed towards the portal that leads back to their world. As the last of their friends are safely through, Magnus turns to Alec grabbing his hand and squeezes. The squeeze back gives him the momentum to move towards the portal, leaving Edom behind once and for all.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The beauty of falling apart is that you get a chance to start over again. It will feel like dying, but this will just be your rebirth.-Adriana C. & Nava S.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _shows up months late with a milkshake_  
>  Uh hey everyone. So this took way longer than I wanted but this gave me a lot of stress because so many wanted a sequel and I wanted to make sure it was good. My friend basically had to yell at me that it was good for me to feel confident to post it lol
> 
> ANYWAY
> 
> Enjoy this wonderful sequel of what the hell happened to Alec <3

“Well, I can’t seem to find anything wrong,” Catarina states as she finishes her inspection.

Alec sits on the medical bed with his legs hanging off the side; Magnus right next to him for support. It had taken a few hours of being interrogated and filing reports about what happened in Edom before Magnus was finally able to drag Alec to the infirmary and have Catarina look over him. There’s no one else Magnus trusts more to poke and prod at Alec’s body than her. 

Stepping back from the bed she turns to address everyone. Jace, Izzy and Maryse stand off to the side of the room. “From what you guys told me about what happened in Edom, I can’t sense anything wrong. Whatever happened to you must have come and gone.” 

“There can’t be nothing,” Jace speaks up, his frustration noticeable. “What I felt through the bond when Alec was-,” he hesitates, moving to rest his hand over his parabatai rune, “dying. It felt like  _ something _ was invading his body and burning him from the inside out. It felt like he was changing.”

Alec feels his heart break at Jace’s words. He had never wanted Jace to experience the feeling of the bond dying. He remembers what it felt like for it to completely snap and disappear. To feel half of your soul disappear, that part of you is gone forever. He begins to rub at his right hand with rough motions at the reminder of what he put Jace through. As if sensing his distress, Magnus leans his head on Alec’s shoulder, grabbing his hand and lacing their fingers to stop the movements. He tilts his head and rests it on top of Magnus’, closing his eyes taking a deep breath to calm himself, tuning out the conversation for a moment. 

_ Everyone is alive and made it back in one piece _ , Alec tells himself. Lorenzo and Meliorn returned to their respective homes with a promise from Magnus to update them on Alec’s condition. Clary and Simon left with the promise to grab food since it had been a whole day since everyone left and returned from Edom. Jace, Izzy, and their mother are all here in the room wanting to know what happened. Magnus, his boyfr-  _ fiancé _ , he corrects with a small smile on his lips, is sitting next to him. The Lightwood family ring pressed against his skin where his and Magnus’ hands are intertwined.

It still hasn’t fully registered that Magnus is sitting next to him. Alec hadn’t been able to take his eyes off of Magnus after they came back from Edom. Made sure to always have his fiancé in sight while he and the others wrote out their reports for the Clave. He nuzzles his cheek into Magnus’ hair as his body shivers at the thought of what he almost lost. He had been more than willing to give up his happiness and heart to bring back Magnus’ magic and immortality. It was a simple price to pay if it meant that Magnus would be happy again, whether or not Alec was in that equation. 

Alec has a lot of groveling to do. Twelve dozen roses to order, a trip around the world, cleaning the loft by hand and a toothbrush, anything to let Magnus know how much he has always loved him. Magnus may have said he understood but that doesn’t mean Alec didn’t hurt him with the words he spoke that night in his mother’s bookstore. The despair on Magnus’ face is something that he will never forget as long as he lives.

Feeling the hand clasped in his give another squeeze, he lifts his head and opens his eyes to look at his fiancé. Magnus’ face is etched with concern as he searches for any sign of pain. A small smile breaks out on his face and returns the squeeze letting Magnus know he was okay. Magnus seems satisfied with whatever he sees in his eyes and smiles back, picks their laced hands up and gives the back of his hand a kiss before resting the hands back on his lap.

“Is there anything else that you can do?” Maryse speaks up as Alec tunes back into the conversation. No one seemed to have noticed Alec's small respite.

“I can try and look deeper into Alec’s body with my magic, but I want you to be sure about it,” Catarina turns her full attention to him. “It can be very intrusive because it pretty much touches your soul, but it could give us a better answer.”

“Could it wait until tomorrow?” he sighs. The exhaustion from today’s events are slowly starting to catch up to him. He feels like he was hit by multiple shax demons and then thrown off the Empire State Building. He wants to go to bed and sleep for the next week.

“Alec,” his mother states, giving him the infamous Maryse Lightwood Look™ that says there’s no room for arguments. “It will only take a moment? Yes? And then you can go to sleep.”

“Mom,” he argues back. He knows he’s being unreasonable but he’s about to fall asleep sitting up. “I would rather be more awake for this than I am. Catarina already said that there was nothing wrong with her first check up which means I’m not in any danger.”

“But there could be something that she can’t sense and has to dig deeper to find it!” Maryse crosses her arms not looking away from him. “You could still be dying for all we know Alec and if you went to bed and didn't wake up I-” His mother’s lips pressed into a thin line as she tried to reign in her emotion. “I was not there when you were possibly dying the first time,” she whispers out as her hand wipes underneath her eye. “The last time I saw you, you were giving me back the ring and you were heartbroken and in pain. So forgive me for wanting to make sure you’re actually okay.”

It’s hard to realize that the person standing across from him is his mother. That’s not to say that Maryse didn’t love her children unconditionally. She merely was never one to be open about her love and kept a tight lid on it. Never allowed it to show around others that didn’t deserve to see that side of her. To see her shed tears not only in front of him and his siblings but also in front of two warlocks shows how far she has changed from who she used to be when she was a shadowhunter.

“I’m sorry,” Alec looks down at the floor. Hearing his mother’s voice crack is enough to make him concede. Not looking up from the floor, he hears the sound of heels clicking on the hard floor approaching him. Soon the heeled shoes appear in his vision as soft hands cradle his face. 

“Alec,” his mother says standing in front of him now. “I understand that, I do. I would rather know that you are safe when you go to bed and not worry about if you’re not.”

He gently nods into the hands and lifts his eyes to see his mother staring at him like he’s the most important person in the world. She gives him a soft smile and leans forward to give him a tight hug. Alec easily leans into the embrace, laying his head on her shoulder. 

“So,” she releases him from her arms, “Will you allow Miss Loss to take a look?”

“Yeah.” Alec looks to Cat and gestures weakly at his body. “Do what you have to do.”

“Alright, I’m going to need you to lay down on the bed. Don’t want to risk you falling over and onto the ground. And can you take off your shirt as well.” Catarina walks around to the right side of the bed to allow Magnus and Maryse to stay next to Alec. 

“Alec, this is going to take a while so just relax and keep yourself calm. This process isn’t going to allow you to talk because I have to keep your body as still as possible so I don’t accidentally bump and damage your soul. I’m not going to say it’s not going to hurt because it’s a very invasive examination. I am going to try and make it as less painful as I can.”

“I’m going to be right here, darling,” Magnus promises. “I’m not going anywhere so if it starts to hurt too much squeeze my hand and I’ll tell Cat to stop.”

Alec nods taking a deep breath, relaxes his body sinking further into the bed. He looks over to Cat to give her the okay to start. He feels his body lock up as her magic surrounds him. She begins at his feet and works her way up his body. Tiny pinpricks jab at him as her magic climbs his body. The sensation is not as terrible as he thought it would be, like the feeling of your foot falling asleep. It hurts more in some places as her soft blue magic crawls up his body. It’s when she reaches his torso that things take a turn for the worse. 

As her magic reaches his heart, all of a sudden it feels like a volcano has erupted inside his chest. His grip on Magnus hands goes so tight that he’s afraid he’s going to break his fiancé’s hand, but he can’t release his grip. A whimper is released from his mouth as his body is still locked by Cat’s magic. 

“Catarina something’s not right,” Magnus hisses as he feels the iron grip on his hand. “Stop the spell.”

Cat is about to release her hold when a burst of blue light bursts out of Alec’s body, shattering the spell encasing him. Everyone near the bed jumps back at the sudden burst of light. Jace moves forward to pull Maryse back as Alec writhes on the bed. He looks down at his hands and sees faint sparks shooting out of his finger tips.

“Alexander?” Magnus moves back to Alec’s side. “What is it? Tell me what’s wrong.”

“It’s hot,” he groans out. “It feels like my insides are melting.”

“Okay, okay I need you to breathe for me okay? Take deep breaths.” Magnus mimics a deep breath getting Alec to do the same. He presses a hand to his forehead and retracts it almost immediately. He summons his magic and begins to work on Alec’s body. “Catarina help me cool him down. He’s burning up.”

Cat steps next to the bed again summoning her magic to help Magnus, only for the blue sparks that are surrounding Alec’s hands to lash out at her. She jumps out of the way and the sparks hit the glass wall behind her, shattering the floor to ceiling window. 

“What,” Catarina asks in disbelief staring at Alec’s hands. “That was magic.”

“That’s not possible,” Izzy says as she watches Magnus attempt to cool Alec down. “The powers of the alliance rune should have faded hours ago.”

“For all of you maybe but Alexander and I got ours later than the rest of you,” Magnus recalls, his magic still at work. Whatever was affecting his body didn’t seem to want to go away. 

“Well whatever is happening, the magic inside him doesn’t want me near him,” Cat contemplates. She stands there in deep thought. “I think the magic doesn’t want me to help.”

“Could it be because the magic thought you were trying to hurt Alec?” Izzy questions as she watches Magnus lower her brother’s temperature. “I don’t know much about how it all works but I know it can respond to emotions strongly if a person doesn’t have control over their magic. Happened to me in Edom with Lorenzo’s magic.”

“That could be it,” Cat responds. “If the magic thought I was attacking Alec it would protect him, but not lash out like it did. When a warlock feels threatened,” she turns to Izzy, “their magic will do whatever it can to protect them. So it would make sense that if you haven’t put in the years to attune your emotions to your magic that it would respond to your emotions accordingly. But with the way Alec’s magic lashed out, it’s like the magic is already in control.” Magnus finishes his work, the magic around Alec fades out. Magnus pulls back from the bed and finds the remote and adjusts the bed to allow Alec to sit up.

“Can I see your hands Alec?” Alec raises his still partially glowing hands for Cat to look at. She gently prods at them with her magic to not make the magic angry at her again. She sends a small push of magic into the hands and feels a response. 

“Oh.”

“Oh? What do you mean oh? Nothing good comes from ‘Oh’ Cat,” Jace panics.

“It’s not just random magic, it’s yours Magnus,” Cat states as she lowers Alec’s hands. “I would know it anywhere, we have been friends for over 200 years.”

“I did this?” Magnus questions with disbelief. He looks down at his hands as if they would have the answer as to why this happened.

“So the alliance rune hasn’t worn off?” Izzy asks.

“No the alliance rune is gone. There’s no mark on your hands anymore Alec, but the magic inside you decided to stay.” She looks at her best friend. “How much of your magic did you pour into him when you were in Edom, Magnus?”

“I don’t know,” Magnus says, his thoughts are all over the place. “I was grasping at straws on how to get him to wake up since nothing was working. I wasn’t really thinking coherently since my fiancé was dying in my arms.”

“Well whatever you did, it turned Alec’s body into a conduit for your magic.”

“So I’m a warlock now?’ Alec asks as he stares at the runes that are still there on his arms. ”But I still have my runes.” 

“It’s not so much that you’re a warlock, but that you are a warlock and a shadowhunter. With what little I was able to gather before the magic decided to lash out. It felt like your soul changed to accommodate Magnus’ magic inside you.”

“Can it be fixed?” Alec asks.

“I’m afraid not,” she looks at him with compassion. “Not without doing serious damage to your soul and possibly killing you. That type of bonding, to remove it would take extensive research because I have never seen anything like it. Who knows how long it would take to find a process that won’t damage you with the end result.”

The room goes silent again as everyone takes in the new information. 

“Okay,” Alec eventually says.

“Okay?” Magnus looks at him like he’s grown a second head. “You’re okay with this?” 

“Yes,” he responds. “You heard what Catarina said. It can’t be fixed so I’m not going to fret over it.”

“You- You just,” Magnus frantically gestures at him. “You’re just going to accept this?”

“Yes, Magnus,” he repeats. “If the only other option is to mess up my soul more than it already is and possibly risk death, then I am not going to do it. I’m not going to leave you behind.” 

“You are going to live forever because of this Alexander! Because of me! You now have to sit by and watch as those you love age and die while you remain what you look like today,” Magnus practically shouts gesturing at Alec. “You can’t sit there and tell me that you want this!” 

His chest heaves as he slowly takes in the silent room. Catarina is looking at him with sympathy on her face. She knows this is not the first time he and Alec have had this argument though the circumstances are different. Jace, Izzy and Maryse stare at him, a shocked expression on all of their faces. When he looks back at Alec, his face is closed off and expressionless.

“Can you guys give us a moment?” Alec addresses the rest of the room, his face never leaving Magnus’.

“Alec are you sure,” Izzy questions, eyes darting between the two of them.

“Please,” he asks. Jace is the first to leave the room, quick to escape his own emotions of the topic. Isabelle follows close behind calling her brother’s name at the rush of his departure. Catarina ushers Maryse out of the room as his mother seems to be too shocked at the revelation. He feels a faint rush of magic encompass the room and knows that Cat has soundproofed it. Magnus waits until he hears the infirmary door close before he speaks.

“Alexan-”

“Would it be that bad?” he interrupts. “Is the thought of forever with me that bad?”

“This isn’t about that Alexander.”

“Then what is it about?”

“The fact that you didn’t get a choice in the matter!” Magnus raises his voice again, pacing around the room

“For Lilith’s sake, Alexander! I did this to you! I so desperately wanted to save you that I didn’t realize how much of my magic would affect the alliance rune. That being in Edom where my magic is at its most powerful would change the very essence of your soul. And it will never leave! Your soul will be forever connected to my magic and there is nothing we can do about sans killing you and I refuse!” He takes a shaky breath halting his pacing to look Alec in the eyes. “I refuse to be the reason that you are no longer in this world. You can’t sit there and tell me this is what you wanted.” 

“And what if it is?” Alec moves to get off the bed. “What if I have been thinking about it non-stop since our fight about your box?”

“Alexander, I already told you that those momentos are to remember them by, nothing more,” Magnus says before he rushes forward to stop him from getting off the bed. “Alexander please get back on the bed, you should not be standing.” Alec shakes his head and grips Magnus’ arms. Standing on two legs, he looks at Magnus taking in the man in front of him. He’s never seen a more beautiful sight.

“It has been on my mind constantly that one day I am going to leave you. And it hurts thinking about it. I never want to leave you Magnus. I don’t know how many times I have to tell you but I will for as long as I live. I can’t live without you, I won’t.”

“Alec-”

“You think I have never looked into it? Immortality?” He huffs out a small laugh. “Since that day in the infirmary when Lorenzo’s magic was killing you, I decided I never wanted to leave your side. Every day you spent in Edom I was looking for a way to get you out, I was also looking for a way to get my forever with you. Because that is what it is Magnus,  _ my forever _ .

“We always knew how this relationship would eventually end and now we never have to know.” He presses his forehead against Magnus’. Magnus’ glamor dropped a while ago and his golden cat eyes are shining with tears. “Because I am not going anywhere now. I get to have my forever with you and I’d like to think you’d want to have your forever with me.”

“Of course I do you ridiculous nephilim,” he whispers past the tears on his face. “I would love nothing more than to spend my forever with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come talk to me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Skylar10211)
> 
> Want to talk about Shadowhunters with other fans?
> 
> [Join our Discord!](https://discord.gg/fhbfNFA)

**Author's Note:**

> I have an idea for a continuation about the aftermath and what really happened to Alec but who knows if I will write it ‾\\_(ツ)_/‾
> 
> Come talk to me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Skylar10211)
> 
> Want to talk about Shadowhunters with other fans?
> 
> [Join our Discord!](https://discord.gg/fhbfNFA)


End file.
